Happy Memorial Day... I Think.

Memorial Day can be one of those touchy days for service members. Veterans and active duty are often tagged in “Happy Memorial Day” posts from family & friends enjoying a cold brew and a brat. The sentiment is greatly appreciated, but people often forget that it is really a holiday to commemorate fallen servicemen and women who sacrificed their lives in service or thereafter. Their deaths not only impact another headline in the news, but on a closer level it impacts their unit, their fellow combat buddies, their communities, and most importantly their families. There is a community element that often falls by the wayside after their untimely deaths.

Who is checking on their spouses/partners after the funeral is over?

We see the funeral processions and the snapshot that makes America cry, but what about after that? Who is checking on the ones that have to hold their families together? Who are forced to stay strong and feel later... Save face for their children at school plays and parent teacher conferences... Who are forced to move on with their lives with a piece of their hearts missing? A lot of men and women end up having to survive on their own and most times that's not okay. Tragic events can lead to a path of demise (led by the pessimistic POV) or empowerment (led by the optimistic POV). Both options can create domino effects in their personal relationships, careers, parenting, finances, and personal well-being. It is important to check-in with these survivors to see how they are doing and ask how can you help.

I will admit I have never experienced losing a loved one in service, but some have shared similar experiences of abandonment after the funeral is over. And for that, I would like to share options for survivors who are unfamiliar to the amount of resources you do have. There are several military survivor support groups that help survivors beyond family and friends. Sometimes we must turn to those that understand our stories from a familiar place to find peace within ourselves.

♦ T*A*P*S (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors)

https://www.taps.org/

♦ Military.com- Survivor Support Orgs

https://www.military.com/benefits/survivor-benefits/survivor-support-organizations.html

♦ Veterans Affairs

https://www.va.gov/survivors/

♦ Your Local Veteran Outreach Centers

If you know any other great resources leave a comment below and let me know!

So I'll leave you with this… While you are barbecuing this weekend, spend time with your fellow veteran loved ones & friends, live in that moment, and appreciate these times you are able to.

If you’d like to share your personal story, contact us: Combat4Her@gmail.com

Until next time...

This article is dedicated to my inspiration on this topic, one of my great friend’s from high school, USMC SSGT Javier Ortiz-Rivera. Javi was killed in action in Afghanistan and left behind a wife and three amazing children. I cannot imagine the transition of all of their lives without him. It’s something you never plan for and it’s amazing to see their story of surviving after his death shared on other veteran platforms.